Babble and a picture

That picture to the right is me at three-and-a-half, when I lived in Sacramento. I was going through a period of insisting on wearing my bathing suit most of the time. My dad took me to the pool in the apartment complex after work, and I wanted to make sure I was ready to go the second he got home.

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A few thoughts I've had lately:

• When I watched The Grinch Who Stole Christmas last week, I spotted something I never noticed before that disturbs me. The Grinch is slinking around stealing Christmas decorations and stockings and presents, and then he goes to the refrigerator to take the Christmas dinner. He picks up a can of Who Hash. I thought "If corned beef hash is made from corned beef and potatoes, what is Who Hash made from?? Are the Whos cannibals?" It's still bugging me.

• Why is the term Realtor capitalized sometimes? Other job titles aren't, as in "I'm a brain surgeon." What's so special about realtors? People need to stop that practice right now.

• Do you think Rosie O'Donnell realized, when she opened her yap about Kelly Ripa and Clay Aiken, that not only was she outing Clay when perhaps he didn't want to be, but also she was calling him not cute? She said something like Kelly wouldn't have reacted as she did if Clay had been "a straight man, or a cute man." If I were Clay, I'd be a tad offended.

• Also, does anyone besides my mother watch The View?

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My Thanksgiving dinner turned out pretty well, although the turkey was nothing to write home about. I'm not very good at cooking meat. I can whip up great side dishes, bake up a storm, and stir-fry like a mo-fo, but a roasted chicken or a brisket and such? Not so much. My pumpkin pie was delicious, partially thanks to Daniel, who ran up to the little grocery on the corner Wednesday afternoon to find premade piecrust for me. I hate bland pumpkin pie, so I jazz it up with lots of molasses and spices. I got some good tips on making piecrust, though (thanks!), so I might get brave enough to attempt it again one of these days.

Kevin took me to see the new James Bond movie last night, and I was pleasantly surprised by Daniel Craig. He's a very different Bond, but a good one. I wish I knew more about poker because I would have enjoyed the card game scene more. Whenever they showed the cards in someone's hand, Kevin or I would whisper "So is that a good hand? Is he going to win, or is he bluffing?" Everyone else in the audience seemed to be poker geniuses, oohing and aahing knowledgeably--or they were just good fakers. The Bond song by Chris Donnell (Is that his name--the Soundgarden guy?) was good; I liked it at the time. Today, I can't remember at all what it sounded like, however.It didn't stick with me the way Bond songs usually do. The cheesy Goldfinger theme--now THAT'S a Bond song you can remember.

Kitty haunts me 25 years later

In graduate school, I taught classes in communications and English comp and lit. For one class, interpersonal communications, I was actually more of a teaching assistant. I worked for a professor who gave once-weekly lectures, and I ran the twice-weekly labs and determined students' grades. I'll call this professor "Kitty," although the oh-so-professional nickname she insisted on being called was another animal (seriously). She was annoying in a multitude of ways, but one of her most irritating traits was claiming that "and" should be used instead of "but," as in "You're showing improvement in class, and your last paper didn't show enough effort." She theorized that "but" negates everything that comes before it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, in the example I used, both statements can be equally true, but saying "and" sounds unnatural and stupid.

To my surprise, however, I found myself using it yesterday when I was talking to my friend Lynn on the phone. She was a little worried about how well she and her husband are going to handle around-the-clock togetherness over the next few months. He has a landscaping business and doesn't usually work between the end of November and the end of March. Because she quit her job and will be working from home for the new job she's likely to get, she's going to be home all the time, too. I was telling her that earlier this year, when Kevin was unemployed for several months, that all the "togetherness" started getting on my nerves, and I wanted to tell Kevin, "I adore you, honey, AND I'm sick of seeing your stupid face all the time." I used a Kitty-ism! The horror! Unfortunately, it seemed to fit--in that context, anyway. (Note: I don't really think Kevin has a stupid face, but YOU try being around your beloved nonstop for months on end.)

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Well, I was wondering when this was going to happen. Normally, I have little patience with litigious people, and I have my doubts about how innocent Melinda Duckett was in the disappearance of her son. However, someone has to stop that shrill-voiced harridan Nancy Grace. Not just for this incident, although I do think she was out of line in her questioning of Melinda Duckett. Nancy Grace needs to decide whether she wants to be a newsperson or a prosecutor, and she has got to stop trying to run her show as though she's the judge and jury combined. It's not up to her to determine guilt, and haranguing guests on her show isn't as much help in solving crimes as she'd like to think it is.

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Anyone have a good pie crust recipe? I forgot to buy the premade crust you roll out and place in an pie plate when I went to the grocery yesterday, and I'll be damned if I'm going back again today. My homemade crust usually turns out pretty bad, but I'm willing to try if it means I can avoid another trip to grocery hell.

Two days until T-Day

Thanksgiving creeps up on me every year and catches me woefully unprepared. I understand some people, bless their hearts, sit down a few weeks ahead of time, plan a menu, and create a detailed shopping list, organized by grocery store aisle. I should amend that. Some crazy people do all that. OK, OK, I'm just envious I can't plan ahead, all right?

So of course I didn't go grocery shopping until today, and I went with only the vaguest notion of what I plan to serve Thursday: probably a turkey, something with sweet potatoes, and, um, other things. Oh, and a pumpkin pie. Clearly, I like orangish food.

After dodging slow old ladies and pushing around a heavy, overflowing cart with a wheel that kept sticking, I was exhausted by the time I got home. It was at that point I realized I really, really suck at this "planning ahead" thing. Just once I'd like to have the forethought to clean rotting and/or moldy food out of my refrigerator before I bring new foodstuffs home, instead of frantically tossing decrepit vegetables and wiping down shelves before the new carton of ice cream melts. Also, when I finally got around to putting the groceries away, I discovered that I already had not one, but two, giants cans of pumpkin puree. I now have enough canned pumpkin to bake pies for a horde of hungry stevedores. Gah.

Testing, testing . . .

Is this thing on? Hello?