Monday, December 18, 2006

If editing doesn't work out, there's always catalogue copywriting!

I hope my Christmas-readiness hubris in my last entry doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. I'm very superstitious about jinxing myself by boasting. With my luck, the shirt I bought my dad will fall apart the first time it's washed, and all because I couldn't keep my yap shut! If you're listening, O Karma Gods, I take it back. I'm completely unprepared and stressed out about it.


Actually, there is something I'm worried about. Despite exercising, losing weight, and taking higher doses of my medications, my blood glucose levels aren't coming down as well as they should. Dr. Bambi wants me to start taking Byetta, which isn't insulin but is injected (eeek). It's a new drug that helps your body produce more insulin and slows the absorption of food after you eat so that your BG levels don't rise as quickly after eating. Good side effects: BG levels are regulated better, and you tend to lose weight. Bad side effects: Nausea and sudden drops in BG levels (hypoglycemia), which can be dangerous.

Of course, this wonder drug is hideously expensive, and I don't have insurance. So the first step is seeing whether I qualify financially; often I fall just over the cut-off line for any kind of medical assistance because drug companies seem to think I'm fabulously wealthy and could jet off to Fiji anytime I like (please). I refuse to worry about the prospect of injecting myself with a freaking NEEDLE until I know whether I can even get the stuff. (I'm lying, of course. You know I'm sitting here sweating at the thought of poking myself in the stomach or leg with a sharp object.)


As I mentioned, I bought the Il Divo DVD for my mom's Christmas present, but she also hinted she'd like a new address book because her current one has lots of crossed-out entries. So I thought, no problem--I'll pick one up. Do people not use paper address books anymore? I've checked bookstores and even the dreaded H@llmark store, and I can't find anything decent and appropriate for a 60-ish woman, unless I want to believe my mom would adore a Hello, Kitty address book (and that would be a NO). The H@llmark store had two: one a bright turquoise and the other hot pink, and very plain with no illustrations. My mom prefers pastels or more subtle colors, and she likes pretty pictures of, you know, flowers and shit. (Why I'm not writing catalogue copy, I don't understand.)

I was bemoaning the dearth of mother-appropriate address books to Kevin the other day, and he came home from work Friday practically giggling. He handed me an address book--marked down to $3, even!--with silly photos of dogs dressed up in all kinds of costumes. The funniest one is a little terrier dressed up in a gondolier's outfit standing over two other dogs going for a gondola ride. It's truly the tackiest thing I've ever seen, and my mom will be horrified. I can't wait to see how hard she'll try to pretend she loves it before I tell her it's a joke. I'd like to find a nice one to hand her after telling her the other one's a joke, but even if I don't, it's still funny. Yes, I'm chock-full of the Spirit of the Season. Heh.