Monday, April 7, 2008

Be my Emily

Now I know why I haven't moved for the past 12 years. Moving is a major pain in the ass, isn't it? Well, I love my new house, and I'll actually get around to posting pictures soon, after I get more boxes cleared out of the way. I can't tell you how much I adore calling the landlord when something needs to be fixed and having a handyman sent out tout suite! The best part? My handyman's name is Butch, I kid you not.

I have an etiquette question for you. A friend sent an invitation to a surprise birthday party for her husband this Saturday. She didn't send it until this past Saturday, so I can understand not being able to mail written invitations, although this woman does event planning for a living and is constantly trumpeting her superior planning skills. So a mass e-mail is fine, but she sent one of those stupid eVite things. Have you ever gotten one? I hate them, and I think the notion of needing one is ridiculous unless you have 200 guests to keep track of (not the case here). Also, you can see how everyone else replies on the eVite site, and my reason for not being to attend isn't one I care to announce to several people I don't know. I'll tell you, my lovely Internet friends, because I know you. Or I sort of know you and think you're very funny. Anyway, my night vision has gotten so bad that driving at night is downright scary unless it's a trip down the street to the grocery on extremely well-lit roads. Kevin can't go, so I'd have to drive 35 miles back by myself late at night with my old-lady eyes, and I'm not going to get into a head-on crash just to holler "Surprise!" at a man.

ANYway, I e-mailed her privately to tell her why I couldn't attend and sent my best wishes, yadda yadda. Very polite. (I was raised right.) Not three minutes later, she sent out another goddamn eVite e-mail, saying the following:

Some of you have been very kind to RSVP to me directly via email and for that I thank you. However, to make sure I don't miss anyone, would you please click on this link and respond directly on the invitation website? Its pretty kewl in that it tabulates everything for us. Yep! I'm getting lazy in my old age. Thanksabunch everyone! I truly appreciate it.

She's inviting less than 30 people. What the hell is there to "tabulate"? Half the people on her list haven't even responded yet, even though today is the RSVP deadline. Why didn't she just e-mail me back? Clearly, she means the e-mail for me. I guess she wants to prevent any other people who don't follow instructions from doing the same thing, but would sending a personal note to me separately have killed her? Fuck it. I'm not going to do it. Does that make me rude? (Apparently, it DOES make me quite the pottymouth.) I could be really rude and point out her punctuation and spelling errors. Uh, I guess I just did, didn't I? Oh, well.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm volunteering at Obama's headquarters. I'm excited! I've never worked on a presidential campaign before. When I went there Saturday to sign up, a woman wandered in, looking confused, and asked where Hilary's headquarters are. All the volunteers stared at each other for a minute, and I muttered to the guy signing me up, "Tell her that if you do tell her, you'll have to kill her." He started sputtering and choking on his coffee. Either he was amused, or he's rethinking having me come in tomorrow.