Monday, July 5, 2010

What I've Been Up To: Part I

Not to sound melodramatic (although I am dabbing my forehead delicately with a lavender-scented handkerchief), but writing this entry on the Fourth of July (yeah, and posting it on the 5th because I procrastinate) is fitting because I've declared myself free of Kevin's attempts to drain the life out of me. Being Peter Pan's girlfriend got old years ago, but I loathe confrontation almost as much as I do Michelle Bachman. However, the past couple of years have been leading inexorably to this point, and I finally overcame my fear of The Unpleasantness. I can't keep living with someone I don't love and respect. As Gloria Gaynor said, "Enough is enough is enough." (Gloria, right? Whatever. Some disco queen, which is probably a poor source of wise quotes. I'm too exhausted to look up a pithy saying by Emerson, however.)

Everyone I've told has been encouraging and supportive and has said in one way or another "About damn time." Daniel summed it up succinctly by saying, "Mom, he's mooched off you long enough." Yes, he has. He hasn't been employed full-time since we moved here, a little over two years ago, and has made only a few attempts to look for a job (and none at all for the past year). Enough, indeed. About a year ago, I paid more than $2000 to keep him out of jail for not paying child support. Go ahead, say it: Dumbest. Move. Ever. Yes, I was a sap.

To make all the financial woes even more delightful, his temper has gotten increasingly worse. I realized several months ago that I'd stopped sleeping well because I was constantly tense. I lost my appetite--which is QUITE the symptom of being upset for me--and started having recurring stomach problems. I started walking to get out of the house (in other words, away from the source of my tension) and help me deal with stress. It did help, and as a result, I've lost a little over 50 pounds. About damn time for that, too, but I don't recommend living with a crazy person as a weight-loss method.

Well, there's more to this story, including a very happy ending, but I'm going to save it for another entry. I'm out of practice and need to work up to writing again. To my steadfast friends who have listened to me moan and kvetch and whine and offered insight, humor, and righteous indignation on my behalf, I love you, and you've made all this easier to bear.