Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I'm Twitchy, the Eighth Dwarf

I should learn how to write shorter entries so that I can post more regularly, I think. Work has been so busy lately that I don't have the time I'd like to write. Besides, I'm far too long-winded. Editor, edit thyself, right?

So here's what's been happening the past week or so: I spent an inordinate amount of time fussing over Daniel's application for federal financial aid and finally got it submitted in the nick of time. Have I mentioned my hatred of paperwork and applications? OH, THE HATRED AND LOATHING. I wouldn't survive working for a government agency.

Also, I gave Daniel his first driving lesson and have developed a new twitch in my right eyelid that hasn't gone away yet. Apparently I didn't explain the concept of power brakes clearly enough, and the first time he stopped, he stomped on the brakes so hard that I nearly went flying through the windshield even with a seatbelt on. I think I have a permanent scar on my neck from the seatbelt cutting into it, and I'm positive I can see finger impressions in the dashboard now. On the outside, I remained remarkably calm, however. Maybe the bottle of rum I had tucked under the seat helped? Heh.

I've also been preparing for Daniel's 18th birthday TOMORROW, OH MY GOD, MY BABY IS TURNING 18, WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?? In a burst of Noel Coward-esque civility, my ex, his wife, Kevin, and I are taking Daniel out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant. If the conversation gets stilted, I plan to quiz The Ex's Wife on his bad habits and quirks. "Does he still take 6 hours to balance the checkbook because he thinks calculators are newfangled inventions?" "Hey, how many times has he gotten lost between your house and the grocery store? Ha, ha!" That should get the conversational ball rolling, right? I'm the Socializer! Invite me to your next party to get things going!

Oh, for Daniel's birthday, I decided to add him to my cell phone plan and get him a phone. He's mentioned wanting one a few times, and I can get a good deal on it. Also, I got him a sturdier leather case for his iPod, a nice hardback paper journal, some new shirts because his current ones are hanging on him like giant sails flapping in the wind, and the movie Borat. Sacha Baron Cohen makes him helpless with laughter, so I guess he's a typical 18-year-old boy in at least some ways. Besides, I need to make sure I maintain my status as Mother of the Year by buying my son a movie filled with ribald language and crass humor, you know.

The rest of my time has been taken up by fretting about increasingly convoluted work projects that refuse to go smoothly and the disorganized mess my house has become. "Has become." I snort in my general direction. Like it's usually a model of organized cleanliness. I usually do maintain some sort of system to the chaos, but it's gotten way out of hand, and I'll be agonizing over it all week because my parents are driving here Friday to visit for Daniel's birthday. You're looking forward to hearing more about that, I can tell. Awww, aren't you sweet?