Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Kitty haunts me 25 years later

In graduate school, I taught classes in communications and English comp and lit. For one class, interpersonal communications, I was actually more of a teaching assistant. I worked for a professor who gave once-weekly lectures, and I ran the twice-weekly labs and determined students' grades. I'll call this professor "Kitty," although the oh-so-professional nickname she insisted on being called was another animal (seriously). She was annoying in a multitude of ways, but one of her most irritating traits was claiming that "and" should be used instead of "but," as in "You're showing improvement in class, and your last paper didn't show enough effort." She theorized that "but" negates everything that comes before it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, in the example I used, both statements can be equally true, but saying "and" sounds unnatural and stupid.

To my surprise, however, I found myself using it yesterday when I was talking to my friend Lynn on the phone. She was a little worried about how well she and her husband are going to handle around-the-clock togetherness over the next few months. He has a landscaping business and doesn't usually work between the end of November and the end of March. Because she quit her job and will be working from home for the new job she's likely to get, she's going to be home all the time, too. I was telling her that earlier this year, when Kevin was unemployed for several months, that all the "togetherness" started getting on my nerves, and I wanted to tell Kevin, "I adore you, honey, AND I'm sick of seeing your stupid face all the time." I used a Kitty-ism! The horror! Unfortunately, it seemed to fit--in that context, anyway. (Note: I don't really think Kevin has a stupid face, but YOU try being around your beloved nonstop for months on end.)

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Well, I was wondering when this was going to happen. Normally, I have little patience with litigious people, and I have my doubts about how innocent Melinda Duckett was in the disappearance of her son. However, someone has to stop that shrill-voiced harridan Nancy Grace. Not just for this incident, although I do think she was out of line in her questioning of Melinda Duckett. Nancy Grace needs to decide whether she wants to be a newsperson or a prosecutor, and she has got to stop trying to run her show as though she's the judge and jury combined. It's not up to her to determine guilt, and haranguing guests on her show isn't as much help in solving crimes as she'd like to think it is.

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Anyone have a good pie crust recipe? I forgot to buy the premade crust you roll out and place in an pie plate when I went to the grocery yesterday, and I'll be damned if I'm going back again today. My homemade crust usually turns out pretty bad, but I'm willing to try if it means I can avoid another trip to grocery hell.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Two days until T-Day

Thanksgiving creeps up on me every year and catches me woefully unprepared. I understand some people, bless their hearts, sit down a few weeks ahead of time, plan a menu, and create a detailed shopping list, organized by grocery store aisle. I should amend that. Some crazy people do all that. OK, OK, I'm just envious I can't plan ahead, all right?

So of course I didn't go grocery shopping until today, and I went with only the vaguest notion of what I plan to serve Thursday: probably a turkey, something with sweet potatoes, and, um, other things. Oh, and a pumpkin pie. Clearly, I like orangish food.

After dodging slow old ladies and pushing around a heavy, overflowing cart with a wheel that kept sticking, I was exhausted by the time I got home. It was at that point I realized I really, really suck at this "planning ahead" thing. Just once I'd like to have the forethought to clean rotting and/or moldy food out of my refrigerator before I bring new foodstuffs home, instead of frantically tossing decrepit vegetables and wiping down shelves before the new carton of ice cream melts. Also, when I finally got around to putting the groceries away, I discovered that I already had not one, but two, giants cans of pumpkin puree. I now have enough canned pumpkin to bake pies for a horde of hungry stevedores. Gah.

Testing, testing . . .

Is this thing on? Hello?