Let me explain the "alien." I have a first cousin, Jennifer, who was born with beautiful dark-brown eyes and brown hair. Several years ago, she dyed her hair a rather unnatural yellow-blonde and got bright-blue contacts. She was a pretty woman: tall, great figure, beautiful features, olive complexion. With her new hair and eyes, she looks bizarre, though. At a recent family reunion, my mom told me that Jennifer was talking to my Cousin Dewey. (Yes, his real name, and he's something like my second cousin once removed, I think? I'm a bad Southerner because I can't keep all those convoluted cousin relationships straight.) After Jennifer left, he told my mom, "She's still gorgeous, but she looks like an alien!" My mom and I still laugh about it. Dewey's such a sweet old man that she didn't expect that comment from him. Every now and then, we try to work "alien" into a compliment. "Nice eyeshadow, even if does make you look like an alien." "New haircut? It's a little alien-like, but pretty."
I'm such a moron about computer hardware. Software, I can learn, but show me anything with cables and electronic parts, and I'm intimidated. My printer finally died last week, so I bought a new printer/scanner combination. I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I'm stymied about unhooking the old printer and scanner and hooking up the new one. If I don't shut down the computer before disconnecting the old printer and scanner, are sparks going to fly out that start a raging inferno and burn down my house? And if I do shut down the computer and disconnect the old equipment, is Windows going to be confused when I turn the computer back on and repeatedly inform me that some hardware isn't connected? If so, how do I shut it up until I can get the new printer connected? And do I need to uninstall the software for the old computer and scanner at some point? My new printer/scanner has been sitting on the floor of my office for four days, which is pathetic. Any suggestions? Feel free to make fun of my ignorance; I can live with the embarrassment if you can get me past this ridiculous frozen-by-indecisiveness point.
Edited to add: I just found the link for the top 10 Superbowl commercials. If you're slow like me and haven't seen them yet, there you go. Love the last one: I could watch Justin Timberlake getting smacked upside the head with things over and over and over. :)
7 comments:
I would uninstall the old software before I started with the new one. I think with most printers you install the new software first and then shut down and plug in the new hardware. But read the instructions.
I don't think anything will happen if you unplug the old one without shutting down first.
I've always found the best way to deal with new hardware is a glass of single malt and patience. You may prefer another beverage.
First, it is always a good idea to shut down when adding or removing peripherals--except flash drives, and the like. Second, it's not likely you will have to uninstall the software for the old printer, but you might want the disk space. Don't worry about that now.
As for installing the new printer, it most likely is plug-and-play. That means Windows will automatically detect, set up and install the new unit: you probably won't have to do anything to "shut it up." However, you should read the installation instructions (bet there's a "quick start" sheet, too, that will get you going quickly) before you even turn off the computer. You may need to upload whatever software came with the printer for "plug-and-play" to work properly.
Well, I don't know fuck-all about software, but as somebody with Snow White's coloring, I can honestly say I know better than to go blonde. It's not just the hair on your head that has to change; it's the eyebrows that you can never get right (AS IF it's even safe to put dye so close to your eyes--it's supposed to be a salon-only job using vegetable based dyes).
I've seen the intensely green contacts on a family member and I always think it's a very Christmas-y effect with the bloodshot eyes he always has (maybe from the contacts, who knows).
All of a sudden I wonder if Go Fug Yourself is hiring.
Celeste
Just plug the damned thing in for chrissake. OMG. Lisa. :|
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. I think Sasha is a tad impatient with me, though. :)
Celeste, you're right--my cousin still has very dark eyebrows, which just adds to the alien effect. Your family member with Christmas-themed eyes is cracking me up. Still better than an alien, though!
Lisa, I adore your baby picture. It's been killing me trying to think of who it reminds me of but it came to me today...Dale Chihuly.
Celeste
I am totally intimidated by all things hardware/software related. The fact that I am able to keep my blog, which is basically handed to me on a silver platter by Blogger, up and running is a flipping miracle. My husband calls me granny, I'm literally THAT intimidated by technology. So good luck!
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